The different types of intervention in the face of inappropriate behavior in adolescents

The different types of interventions possible in the face of inappropriate behavior.

STOP the action

STOP the action. Put an end to behavior considered dangerous for oneself or for others. This shutdown can be done with means available to the family or by using the services of natural allies, such as school counselors.

Examples of dangerous behaviors that may require this type of intervention: hitting, assaulting, consuming abusively, mutilating oneself, using firearms or knives, etc.

RECOGNIZE emotions and feelings.

Reconize  emotions and feelings. Behind inappropriate or unpleasant behavior often hide feelings or needs that are not expressed as such. It is worth trying to find them out before reacting to the behavior.

Examples of inappropriate or unpleasant behavior that may require this type of intervention: bad mood, sulking, withdrawal into oneself, intolerance, frustration, dissatisfaction, provocation, etc.

Clearly EXPRESS the meaning of family:

Clearly EXPRESS the meaning of family values ​​and rules. As a result of inappropriate behavior, the parent can "shed light" on the meaning of the value or rule being broken.

He specifies the hidden meaning by explaining the expected behavior, as well as the principle underlying it.

Examples of inadequate behavior that may require this type of intervention: individualism, lack of solidarity, refusal to cooperate, refusal to share, refusal to get involved, etc.

NEGOTIATE conflicts over needs

Adolescent inappropriate behaviors are often the result of a lack of communication with their parents.

When the needs of the adolescent and those of their parents are made explicit, shared and situated within a framework that is realistic for both parties, the possibility of living in harmony is further enhanced.

Examples of inappropriate behavior that may require this type of intervention: late entries, excessive spending of money, disorder in the room, misuse of common spaces, etc.

Note here that most conflicts between parents and adolescents are the result of the ambivalence of young people to assume their responsibilities and autonomy, as well as the tendency of parents to project their own dreams, desires and expectations onto their children.

Types of parenting and discipline

Parent types: Type I

You are living your teenage years well. You encourage your young person to be assertive, to take responsibility and to become independent, you are a cohesive person who shows flexibility and firmness.

Parent types: Type II

You have difficulty living this period of adolescence. Then ask yourself if you are practicing what you demand of your youngster yourself. There could be a power struggle between you and him! 

Parents who are too rigid or not firm enough do not encourage their young person to be positive about themselves. Remember that negotiation resolves many conflicts.

Parent types: Type III

You experience this phase of adolescence as a personal attack on you or, at the very least, as a questioning of your authority. Think about your own attitude toward authority.

If you can't make the "connection" with your youngster, get help. It is totally worth it, both for you and for him or her.

TYPES OF DISCIPLINE

Authoritarian

Parents absolutely want to plan, decide and control everything.

Usually, it is only for the sake of form that they consult.

The adolescent becomes either very conformist or revolted.

In both cases, he is discouraged, depressed and unhappy.

Based on "laissez-faire":

Parents let the teenager decide everything on the pretext that he has to do his own experiments.

The adolescent has no stable and trustworthy frame of reference. He experiments according to his desires and his impulses. He exhibits risky behavior and his experiences are not always positive.

Ultimately, he feels unimportant to his parents, neglected or abandoned.

Democratic:

Parents have clear, concrete, constant, consistent and consistent rules.

They are able to testify by example and negotiate life together.

They are flexible, but firm on some points. Adolescents continue to assert themselves by challenging, but they gradually learn to understand and accept the realities and responsibilities of living together.

See if you are practicing democratic discipline with your teen by asking yourself the following questions:

• I take into account his needs?

• I offer solutions in the face of confrontations and conflicts?

• I am open to exchanges and communication?

• am I flexible in my decisions and in the way I apply them?

• am I able to assert myself within my personal limits?

• do I agree to let things go?

• I testify by example?

• I accept that my teenager expresses all his opinions?

• do I teach tolerance through tolerance?

• do I encourage curiosity and personal initiative?

• do I promote autonomy and a sense of responsibility?

• do I offer him pleasant activities?

• I congratulate my teenager when he shows determination?

• do I show him my confidence?

• I help him to act alone?

Family education can go a long way in empowering adolescents.
It is not enough only to bring him to discipline himself, it is also necessary to allow him to tame his intuition, his intelligence and his freedom.

Why you need to respect the privacy of adolescents?

Everyone has the right to privacy, and your grown up son or daughter is no exception. The desire to have a personal space that no one will violate is quite natural, and this need is formed as the child grows.

At some point, the sign "do not enter without knocking" appears not only on the door to the teenager's room, but also, in a figurative sense, on his soul.

Of course, parents of adolescents already have a difficult time, and it can be difficult to predict where that invisible line passes, for which they could only yesterday, but today they are already denied access.

And the reaction to the  violation of boundaries  on the part of a grown-up child can be very acute. The fact is that the adolescent begins an inevitable phase of separation, separating himself from his parents.

He no longer needs the constant presence of mom and dad in his life, he must realize who he is and what he is - in a word, become an individual.

And then there's the physiological and psychological changes overtaking the teenager. A changing body and a developing brain also require personal space. New fears, desires, idols, hobbies appear, into which, as it seems to the teenager, mom and dad are not allowed to go.

He must go along this road alone, and therefore the door to his room must be tightly closed, and his phone and computer must be password-protected.

This period is a huge challenge for parents, who at first simply do not understand how they should be with this new creature, which only yesterday was an affectionate baby, and today suddenly became a cold stranger with piercings and green hair.

It seems that contact is lost forever. Here it is important for parents not to despair and remember that “withdrawal” does not mean that a teenager has something to hide, and an acute thirst for independence is just a sign of growth, a necessary phase in the development of a child’s personality. 

References:

tips for academic success in high school

Tips for academicsuccess

Livres

ACKER, Vincent. Ados, comment les motiver: la méthode Gordon appliquée à la motivation scolaire. Alleur: Marabout, 2000. 279 p.

Duclos, Germain L’estime de soi des adolescents